Dear God: I Blew It

Dear God,  

It happened again today. 
Despite my best intentions...I blew it, God. 

What would you say to God if you could reveal the deepest parts of your heart in a letter? What would you confess? What help would you ask for? 

Dear God,  

It happened again today. Despite my best intentions...I blew it, God. 

I woke up early and the day started off with such promise! In my heart I had the best intentions: I would let You prioritize and lead my day. 

But as our day got going, my toddler pushed and pushed my heart. She took toys from her baby sister, wouldn't stay seated at the dinning table, and she even locked me out of the car as I was putting her in her car seat. Oh God, how I love her dearly. But some days? If I am honest? She depletes my patience supply before we even get to 9:00!

As the day moved on a less than helpful manager at the bank bumped into my happy. She wouldn't notarize a document I really needed completed because it was in the wrong format. I left frustrated. It was a wasted trip with the kids in tow. 

This was followed by that mean shopper at the grocery store who pulled into my spot...a spot clearly marked for moms with kids. My heart simmered as she trotted into the store alone.

By nap time I was exhausted physically and emotionally. The last little bit of patience I had melted in a fit of anger when my toddler woke her sister up for the third time. I yelled. I threatened. I slammed her door. 

It was ugly, God. 

My unglued moment. 

A moment where the least desirable parts of my heart showed. To my most precious little one. 

As my baby cried on the other side of the door I breathed, breathed, breathed. Willing myself to calm down. Asking you for help. 

But the damaged was done. 

I was not a great mom today.

I did not model how to be patient. How to love each other. How to talk softly and respectfully. 

Oh God. I trudge heavy-hearted toward dinnertime now. My energy is gone and I just feel defeated. I pray tomorrow I'll "get it right." I pray for a heart like Jesus'. A heart full of love, patience and understanding despite the world that can throw some crazy at us some times. 

And I pray for your forgiveness. Thank you for loving me anyway, God. No matter how I disappoint or fall short of glorifying You, I know there is always hope for me in your unending love and patience for my life. 

In Jesus' Name I Pray, 

Michelle

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Today I wrote my letter to God as part of Faith Barista's Thursday Faith Jam. Head over to her site for more inspiration, encouragement and letters to God. You'll be hooked!

If you are like me, you need help for the days when someone gets "all up in your happy." You know. Those unglued days. I am so excited to share that my favorite Christian author, Lysa TerKeurst has a brand new book out on this very subject!

God gave us emotions to experience life, not destroy it! Lysa TerKeurst admits that she, like most women, has had experiences where others bump into her happy and she comes emotionally unglued. We stuff, we explode, or we react somewhere in between. What do we do with these raw emotions? Is it really possible to make emotions work for us instead of against us? Yes, and in her usual inspiring and practical way, Lysa will show you how. 

Filled with gut-honest personal examples and biblical teaching, Unglued will equip you to: 

• Know with confidence how to resolve conflict in your important relationships. 
• Find peace in your most difficult relationships as you learn to be honest but kind when offended.
• Identify what type of reactor you are and how to significantly improve your communication. 
• Respond with no regrets by managing your tendencies to stuff, explode, or react somewhere in between. 
• Gain a deep sense of calm by responding to situations out of your control without acting out of control.

FREE UNGLUED WEBCAST!!!!!!!!!

Lysa has invited some amazing bloggers, writers and women to be part of her Unglued Webcast TONIGHT (Thursday, August 23rd). It airs LIVE from 8-9pm EST. 

Go to www.lysaterkeurst.com to view it... if it doesn't show up right away be sure to refresh your browser. There will be a replay the next day in case you miss it or want to share it.  I hope y'all will tune in for that!!!!

Now tell me, what would You say in a letter to God? Or how do you calm down when life becomes Unglued?

Blessings, Michelle

What I Know Now

Hey friends! We've made it to Thursday. I can't believe how quickly these summer days are flying. Today I am thrilled to write as part of 

FaithBarista's 

Faith Jam

Faith Jam is a link up where writers of faith are going to share some amazing stories. In this week's Jam we are sharing letters to our younger selves on what we know now about the faith journey we are on. I hope you'll take time to visit her site and read some of the entries. And if you've hopped over here from the Jam, you are so welcome!

My name is Michelle and I am wife to my Irish husband Brian, mom to preschooler Teagan and baby Isla. It's always an adventure around here where I like to share my family, faith, advocacy for Compassion International, struggle with infertility, newbie homeschooling adventures and always a mishap or two. Lately I also share about the very present grief I have in loosing my father, mother and stepmother all within months of each other. I pray this blog provides a means of encouragement to women by showing them God's love. 

Ready? Let's Jam! 

Here's my letter to my twenty year old self:

Dear Michelle, 

I look at you now and my older self wants to hug you. You'll spend too many years searching for significance, sure that the world can't accept you as you are. Life is good, but it seems the wind carries you on a roller coaster of emotions and crisis. You float from person to group to organization, all in a quest to find the missing link that will lead to a peace that eludes you. 

You will try "church" but feel like an outsider sitting in pews, sure that those "perfect" people inside its doors could never experience the struggles in your heart. But take heart, dear self! God wants you to know you don't need to be perfect to worship Him. He will help you discover you were wonderfully made and are already special to Him and so many others He has and will place in your life! 

Even while you stray, God will not give up on you. He will call you back to Him through a series of trials that bring you to your knees. But in the process? He will bless you beyond your imagination with a wonderful husband and friend, beautiful, treasured children, exceptional friendships and always, the love of your family. 

One day, you will be able to reconcile your life in the world with your faith and find peace through being your authentic self, a child of God. It will surprise you most of all to find Jesus has called you to share your faith through the written word. But in accepting this calling you will experience the greatest joy and purpose ever. So hang in there. And stay away from musicians!!

In Love, 

Your older...and sometimes, wiser 

Self