Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV)
Today's post is about regret.
For words unspoken.
Forgiveness that comes too late.
My father and I didn't speak for the six years prior to his death.
He didn't walk me down the aisle at my wedding.
And he never met or held his granddaughters.
I struggled in this world to understand him.
But I never stopped loving him...
But I never had the courage.
For years I would sit at my computer in the wee hours and cry while listening to this song, Hurt by Christina Aguilera. I always thought one day I would send it to him. That maybe it would show him where my heart was and we could reconcile.
But I never had the courage.
I wish I had listened.
Reached out to him...
Can you afford to wait for a day of forgiveness? If he/she passes before you have the chance to make amends will you be able to live in peace with the finality of that choice?
I thought I could. I was sure the distance I'd grown accustomed to in my daily life would be similar to that of his departing this world. But it just isn't...that. The door has closed.
There are no more chances for us to re-write this story.
And that reality makes my grief feel almost impossible to bare on some days.
Thank you sweet readers for hanging with me during a most vulnerable time in my life. Wow. Most days I don't know if I am crying for mom, dad or Shirley. But I praise God for holding me close and surrounding me with the love of my family, my friends and my church during this time. I know I am walking toward a place of peace and comfort. I pray you'll continue on this journey with me.
I thought I could. I was sure the distance I'd grown accustomed to in my daily life would be similar to that of his departing this world. But it just isn't...that. The door has closed.
There are no more chances for us to re-write this story.
And that reality makes my grief feel almost impossible to bare on some days.
Thank you sweet readers for hanging with me during a most vulnerable time in my life. Wow. Most days I don't know if I am crying for mom, dad or Shirley. But I praise God for holding me close and surrounding me with the love of my family, my friends and my church during this time. I know I am walking toward a place of peace and comfort. I pray you'll continue on this journey with me.
In the meantime, it would be my honor to pray for you. Please leave me your prayer request in a comment below or at teaganstravels@yahoo.com.
Blessings, Michelle
