Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Baby Steps

Hello everyone! I had a serious case of writers block after baby Isla's birth in part because I was (and am) a sleep deprived mama trying to figure out life with two little ones under the age of 2.5. So far the best tip I have is that a triple espresso works wonders to bring me out of a mommy fog when my toddler wakes up with not one but two million thoughts to relay at the bright hour of 7am!

But in addition to this happy adjustment my father had a heart attack on Easter Sunday just four days after the baby's birth. These past three months have been bittersweet with a roller coaster ride of emotions and two trips home. As we celebrated his 69th birthday we rejoiced that he seemed to be on the road to a solid recovery having been moved out of ICU and into a long term rehabilitation facility. Unfortunately he passed away just one week later.

Oh friends, it is never easy to say good-bye. Still, I don't think I could have ever imagined the sense of loss or prepared myself for the pain of saying goodbye to a parent. I know I am sadly not alone in this experience. All I can say is my heart is with anyone who has been through this before. The saving grace is the beautiful truth - he is with Jesus and we will meet again in Heaven for eternity.

In the meantime I haven't taken many pictures, haven't blogged. I have just been still. Thinking. Observing. Cherishing this time with my small babies, my husband, family and friends. As always Brian has been just stellar and so supportive. To cheer me up over the past few weeks I have been finding little notes like this around the house, hanging out with a cup of cappucino, a bowl of oatmeal, et. This one accompanied a rose from our garden and I found it in the kitchen as I staggered bleary eyed toward the coffee made me smile. I do indeed like taking pictures. In fact, I kinda drive people around me bonkers with my incesant need to capture each...and every...moment. So with a brand new camera under my arm I set off for new adventures. Stay tuned friends! There is much to be thankful for, much to explore. We're back!


  1. Michelle!!

    (It's Rachel here). I've been sooo worried. I emailed you months ago and never heard back and was concerned that something had happened.

    My heart goes out to you and your family at a time like this. And my thoughts and prayers are for you.

    (Triple espresso?? I'm a latte girl myself. Do you make your own or buy at Starbucks? I bought these brilliant little espresso pods from Starbucks...and they don't work with my machine!! I think you need a starbucks machine to use them and i have a 12 year old Krups.)

  2. Soooo happy to have you back. You and your father will meet again and it will be beautiful. I got goosebumps reading about Brian leaving notes. That is so sweet. What a man!! xoxo

  3. Heya Rachel! I am so sorry I haven't responded before now. I have been in a total funk given the past few months...and read today's post. I am just a mess at the moment but so, so hopeful all will turn a corner soon. In the meantime I do have bright happy moments to be sure. It's hard to be sad when there is so much to be grateful for! I miss you ever so much! How are you guys? Send me another email on my yahoo ok? I lost your email address! Kisses, M

    And Krissy, you know I love you to bits. Thanks for the encouragement! Hope you have a great reunion this weekend:)

  4. I am thinking of you & sending you hugs. The bliss of your sweet girls and the sadness of missing your dad must have you on such a roller-coaster. I am so, so sorry.

    It is nice to see the light back on in this lovely blog - I wish you the best as you continue to heal and look forward to your inspirational words.


  5. Robin! Thank you so much for the sweet wishes and blog encouragement! I miss my Knottie Girls so much! We'll have to have a reunion one of these days. Speaking of, we are trying to get out your way in October! I'll hopefully have more scoop in a few weeks on a much needed trip out there! I so would love to take the kids to the zoo while are there too! Maybe we could meet you guys for a fun day out??

    Rachel, forgot to answer your question about the all-important coffee! We got an espresso/cappucino maker for our wedding and it is the most treasured electronic in our house to be sure! We grind Starbucks beans daily and make it super strong! It's sad but a grande latte at the real deal seems so weak to me now! Definitely working on cutting down. Just not this week. Surely NEXT week I'll have much more sleep, right?!
    :) Hugs! Michelle


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