Sunday, September 9, 2012

Dirt Road Dependence: Trials That Bring Us Back to God

Anyone who has travelled down the road of infertility will tell you it tests every part of you. With each doctor’s visit, every sharp prick of a needle, and pregnancy test that comes back with a big fat negative, a piece of your hope-filled heart fades away...

I understood what dirt road dependence meant when, despite my greatest efforts to project manage my dream of becoming a mom, nothing worked. Instead, I found myself on my knees.* 


My physical and emotional strength had been replaced by sadness and tears. At the time I could only ask, “Why God?” But looking back, I marvel at how our awesome God used that time to bless me and my family.

Bless me?

It may seem a strange reflection on such a painful time in my life. But in those quiet moments of grief, God used this trial to draw me near to Him. 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
Jeremiah 29:10-12 (NIV)

You see, I’d not truly relied on God for a long time. I was cruising along the road of life, traveling around the world for my job, in love and in control. Life was going great and according to MY plans for it. 

Sure, I was a Christian. I had accepted Jesus as my Saviour one summer morning as a child in vacation bible school. But I had not experienced the beauty and joy of truly having a personal relationship with God. Now I feel comfort going to God daily with my joys, dreams and fears, while seeking His will for my life.

Our path to parenthood was not the one we imagined on our wedding day. Oh, but it is a miracle. We have two of the most amazing little girls. And each day, even the sticky, “real” mommy days, is an absolute blessing. My husband and I are closer as well because no one can understand what we have been through together to become a family. It made our love and respect for each other stronger.

My dirt road dependence during our struggle with infertility served me well.  I’ve learned to trust the plans God has for our lives. Sometimes God leads us to a path of dirt road dependence so we can fall to our knees and with empty arms, hold them up to Him. And when we do that? God fills those arms with blessings and answers we never thought to ask for.

Take Action:  It is easy to praise God when life is full of blessings. What trials can you thank Him for today, asking that He use them to bless you and draw you closer to Him?

God, help us to look to you when we are at our most vulnerable. Lift us out of our trials and bless our lives with answers we never anticipated. We pray we look back on times of dirt road dependence as a gift which helped to enrich our lives and those around us while helping to mature us spiritually.  
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Song: Praise You in This Storm by The Casting Crowns

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:6-7 (NIV)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 
James 1:1-5 (NIV)

Blessings, Michelle

*Posted originally on Encouragement Cafe - August 29, 2013


  1. Michelle, This really speaks to me. My husband and I got pregnant very easily and quickly for our first two, but tried for years to have more and were unable. But your words here also apply to so many other things in life. Very well written and thought provoking. Bless you, Gail

    1. Thank you so much, Gail. I also have friends who were able to have a first baby but found it difficult after. If our story encourages just one heart it was worth writing. But the experience? As painful as it was, God used it to bless us richly in so many ways!

  2. This spoke to my heart as well. Thank you so much.

    Thank you for linking up at Haven of Rest this past week. I hope to see you again this coming week. I hope you have a very special day.

  3. What a beautiful message! Thanks so very much for sharing.


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